Zinda hoon yaar….

When I first heard the song “Zinda Hoon Yaar” by Amit Trivedi from the movie Lootera, I thought what a fatalistic song. The lyrics of the song are: Mujhe chod do mere haal pe, Zinda hoon yaar….Kaafi hai. Translation: leave me alone in whatever state I am… I am alive and that’s enough. I don’t like fatalistic songs and this song made me think…oh what a loser that all he wants to do is live his life the way it is.

But there was something about it that made me go back to it again and again; the background score, the singer, or something else. The beauty of a poem is you can interpret it any which way it pleases you sometimes you interpret it in five different ways depending on your mood. In my current state of mind (running around sorting out my personal and professional life) when I heard this song, I absolutely agreed with the song. The song tells you “leave me alone, I am alive and that should be enough…” When everyone is running in the rat race trying to prove themselves to some corporation, trying to get a higher paying job, a higher figure salary, better benefits; all to improve their quality of life. The life which they are too busy worrying and working for and which they have no time to live! Each of us, including myself is a corporate rat; scurrying around…trying to finish that one last task at the expense of our health and life, living from one weekend to next. Every Friday is the same phrase, “thank god it’s Friday today” and every Monday are the same droll faces with an expression on their face saying “please take me far far away!” I sometimes wonder if everyone collectively hates their job or Monday blues are contagious.

The last line of the song is “kuch mangna baaki nahi, jitna mila…kaafi hai…” translation: I don’t need to ask for anything more, whatever I have received is enough. My life is a constant struggle between needs and wants, and I am sure most of our life is wanting more- I need more clothes, more shoes, more money, more status even more knowledge and more love! For once, I wish I could say I am happy with what I have, and don’t want more.

I wish I could follow this song and say- I am alive and kicking and that’s more than enough!

Advertisements

Norse Mythology: Neil Gaiman

Image result for norse mythology neil gaiman

I have to admit, it was the cover that attracted me first to this book; second was the name-Norse Mythology and finally Neil Gaiman as the author convinced me that I should read it! And I am glad I did! I don’t know much about Norse Mythology at all, but I have definitely heard of Asgard and of Thor and his legendary hammer.

Before I started reading it, I was expecting the book to flow like the usual fictional novel in a linear pattern; but now that I have finished it, I agree that the small short stories was a better way to go. The book starts by introducing the usual players, then goes on to describe the beginnings, how Thor got his hammer and then the other stories which display the slyness of Loki, the stubbornness of Thor, and general the fickle nature of gods, ending with the end of the world.

As the book is written in short stories you can take breaks while reading but the book in general is pretty unstoppable once you start reading it. What I found very fascinating was even in the times when gods walked the earth, the characteristics of good and evil, weakness and strength, compassion and greed are timeless. Even the gods are not above these traits, and are not above death and mortality-even though they do tend to come back from the dead sometimes.

I love books on mythology because they make me think that maybe these ancient times did exist, who is to deny or accept that claim. Just as maybe Mahabharata existed in ancient old worlds, so did Norse gods. Maybe over time people have not forgotten their deeds, but because they seem so much larger than human lives, people have conveniently decided that this must be all mythology and legends; but who is to say that the legends did not exist years and years ago?

Of childhood and birthday cakes….

fullsizerender-1

Today I picked up some Indian style pastries: a black forest cake, a pineapple cake and a butterscotch cake from a small Indian snack shop on my way home. You have to be an Indian to understand the lure of these cake flavours. Black Forest cake is a layered chocolate sponge cake, with vanilla butter cream frosting in between and on top, decorated with chocolate shavings and a sugared cherry; pineapple cake is a layered vanilla cake with pineapple flavored frosting in between and on the top layer and topped off with a sugared cherry; butter scotch cake is also a layered vanilla sponge cake with vanilla and butterscotch flavored frosting and topped with some hard butter scotch pieces and a sugared cherry. Notice, how all the cakes are topped with cherries…I don’t know why but all the Indian style pastries always have a cherry on the top!

When I started sharing these cakes with my friends, I realized that they were not particularly tasty nor were they true to their names in terms of flavors. They all just tasted like sponge cakes with some kind of butter cream frosting. We had a bag of potato chips and we ended up eating a completely unhealthy snack of pastries and potato chips. That’s when a friend remarked, “Isn’t this what we ate at birthday parties growing up?” Our childhood birthday parties consisted of going to a friend’s place, whose house was decorated with balloons and confetti, where after the birthday cake cutting ceremony, your friend’s mother served you a piece of cake, some chips and maybe a samosa on a disposable paper plate. All this was eaten up quickly and then you were served an orange drink called Rasna in disposable cups.

Growing up we had only one cake shop in our town, and probably only that one brand of pastries existed throughout India at that time. It was called Monginis, and having a pastry there was considered a treat which was reserved only for special occasions. So of course all the birthday cakes growing up were from Monginis. I remember it would be such a treat to select your birthday cake a week before your birthday, looking through the pages of their ‘made to order birthday cakes’ book, so you could select exactly the one you wanted for yourself and your friends. I remember Monginis being the only cake shop around until much later when I was in my 20s that couple of local brands sprung up in some corners of the town.

I know the pastries that I bought here in Boston don’t taste anything like what they used to be in India; but they tasted like childhood memories, of the days when lives were simpler and birthday parties were joyous occasions intended only for gorging on Monginis cakes and rasna!

Escape while you can!

20161109_211816-1

Unless you have been living under a rock in the last few months, then you know the media has been buzzing constantly; first with endless US presidential election campaigning, then the US election night, Indian PM demonetizing the Rs.500 and Rs.1000 bills and then the final cherry on the top: Donald Trump winning the elections to be the 45th President of United States. While all the outside news has been constantly hammering on in my mind, the twists and turns of life and work have also kept me constantly busy.

For as long as I remember whenever life overwhelms me, I have turned to books and reading. Like Hermione in Harry Potter, when faced with a problem I have looked for answers in books and library. So it isn’t surprising that in whatever little time I have had lately I have read voraciously. When there is so much drama happening in real life, one doesn’t want to read anyone else’s life drama; even that of a fictitious character. So I picked up couple of books from science fiction and fantasy genre. Fantasy genre is one of my favourite genres and if the book is a fantasy thriller….my life is all set! I mean who is thinking about real life problems and presidential elects when you are hot on the trail of aliens trying to invade earth or a wizard trying to save humans!

For science fiction this time I tried a book called The Three-body Problem written originally by a Chinese author Liu Cixin and translated in English. I just finished it yesterday and it was one of the most interesting science fiction books I have read; it was mainly about how a group of people are sick of the current state of humanity and decide to invite a race of aliens to save the human kind. It resonated with me because this is exactly how I feel about human race today, where we are completely losing touch with our humanity. While realistic it was also thrilling, fun and educational. Today I picked up Ursula Le Guin’s The Left Hand of Darkness. I have never read any Ursula Le Guin, but have heard wonderful things about her writing and I am excited to start the book. The other one I picked up was Fool Moon by Jim Butcher which is the book 2 in the Dresden Files series. Most of the books in this series can be read standalone and I have read a couple of them in no particular order; but this time I decided to start reading the series in its right sequence.

I have always loved to read thrillers, mysteries and adventure stories.  I guess I have always looked for a way to escape the reality even if it is for a little while, if I can get a fun ride with a wizard or an alien during that escape I am more than happy to get on it!

Lands we leave behind

Image result for land we leave behind

More than half a century ago a man left the green fields and farm lands of western Maharashtra to try his luck in the glittering city of Mumbai. His mother had passed away a while ago and he left behind his father and younger brothers with the promise to bring them to the city. In Mumbai he found friends, a small place to live, got his degree as a certified accountant, and a job. Eventually he started his own company that manufactured chemicals and trained his brothers to manage that company. That man was my uncle, who brought his younger brothers from a small rural village in Maharashtra to Mumbai, give them better education and to give them a chance at a better life. Once he came to Mumbai, he never went back to the village except to visit the other relatives there every now and then. He got married and found matches for his brothers one by one, including my father. Everyone started their families in Mumbai and nobody gave a thought to return back to the village. The second generation of my family (my cousins and myself) decided to come further away to improve their lives and a few of us immigrated to the USA. Like our elders before us, we have not given much of a serious thought to going back to our lands. Like my uncles and my father who were immigrants to Mumbai and eventually became citizens of Mumbai (called mumbaikars), we have slowly become Americanized.

People all over the globe move from their home towns and home countries and become immigrants elsewhere. Mostly they move for a better life, better opportunities for families, and sometimes just for the sheer adventure of living unmoored in a new place. I moved away from my home when I was young to find a life different than the one I had back in India. Maybe like my uncle I thought this was the right move to have a better future; but unlike my uncle I didn’t have to bring any of my family here with me.

When you move far away to make your life better, you leave something behind…usually elder parents, other family. You lie to yourself saying you will be back one day but you never get back. Whether it is moving 350 km to Mumbai or 10000 miles to US, it is a move where eventually you will never look back. You have to make a life where you move in order to be successful, but the happier you are in new place the guiltier you sometimes feel about all that you have left behind.

I don’t know if my uncle ever felt the guilt or worry about his move decades ago (he wasn’t the kind of person to talk about his feelings), but he was very happy when his daughters moved to US, he felt that like him they were moving on to something better in life. I just wish I had asked him about all this when he was still coherent, I wish I had talked to him about how to immigrate when you leave half your life behind.

Strangers once again

image

It is funny how sometimes you meet strangers and can just connect with them. And then sometimes the opposite also happens, the strangers who had become friends go back to being unknown strangers again. I have had experience with the latter when a best friend became a stranger and a ‘he who shall not be named!’
But life is strange and time is weird, it heals you even though you don’t want to be healed, and finally there comes a time when memories don’t hurt as much and you can smile and let the stranger go…

Memories Unlimited

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Always Something There to Remind Me.”

Memories are a weird thing. They come unbidden to you at the most inopportune of the times. Seeing a picture somewhere, watching a movie, some snatches of conversations randomly flying through your mind, any of this could trigger a memory event. And of course, who can deny the link between music and memories. We always identify some specific songs to certain specific events in our lives. Some songs remind me of teenage carefree days, some songs remind me of the days when I felt the world was at my feet, some songs belong to the days when it was difficult just making it out of the bed. These songs relate to the good, the bad and the best days of my life.

But the song which never fails to give me goosebumps is from a hindi movie called “Rang De Bansanti”, which means Color me Red. The song is called “Luka Chuppi”, sung by Lata Mangeshkar and A R Rehman. The song is about a mother missing her son, while he is away as he is in the Indian Air Force. While I love the entire song some of my favorite lines are: “aaja sanj hui mujhe teri fikar dhundla gayi dekh meri nazar, aaja na”- meaning; it is evening now, I am worried about you, and my vision is foggy with tears, please come home now. The other line that I love is when the son sings, “yahan sab kuch hai ma phir bhi lage bin tere mujhko adhura”-means; I have everything here but I feel incomplete without you mother.

When I first came to Boston, from Bombay this song always reminded me of my mother. Today this song still reminds me of my mom waiting for me and then it reminds me of those early naïve days in Boston, almost a decade ago. When I as in India, and if I was late coming home from work, my mother used to wait up for me for dinner, so that she could sit and tell me all about her day and ask me about my work. Today when I come back late from work, I know my mom isn’t with me waiting for me to ask me about my day and that thought breaks my heart a little. But we all have to grow up and fly out of our nests doesn’t matter how painful, but for those painful evenings there is always Skype to call and bug your mom so that she doesn’t realize how much you miss her!

For anyone who wants to listen to the song, here is the youtube link and the entire English translation is in the description portion of the video.

Only one life

image

This is a poem from a hindi movie called “Zindagi na milegi dobara”, translation, “you only live once “.

Literal line by line translation means:
If you are walking around with restlessness in your heart, you are alive! If you have the twinkle of dreams in your eyes, then you are alive!
Learn to live free like the gusts of wind
Learn to be free like a wave in the sea
Meet every moment with your arms wide open
Greet a new sight with your eyes every moment
If you are walking around with curiosity in your eyes, then you are alive!
If you are walking around with restlessness in your heart, you are alive!

I love this poem. It wakes up something in me every time. I know there are great many stories and poems which tell you to live your life in the moment, but this one is my favorite!

Just Imagine!

e81d659400c331a212a1c690f1d69323

Imagination is a powerful tool, and a fantastic gift. If you can imagine it, you can have it. It makes you see ordinary everyday things as something extraordinary and exotic. For example, seeing a bridge on a foggy rain soaked evening, and you can imagine yourself standing on a foggy street in a time far away from your own, waiting for a horse driven carriage to whisk you away! I love visiting historic ancient ruins and palaces, because I imagine I am standing in a different time when I was surrounded not by the ruins but the actual sites.

Last year I visited some old palaces of Mughal kings and queens in Agra, India. If you get away from the crowds and listen carefully, you can imagine the fading echoes of the laughter of the women who lived in those palaces centuries ago, you can imagine the kings holding courts in the traditional garbs and the women sitting and watching the proceedings from their private wings. Imagination brings an additional layer to your experience, whether it is visiting an old palace or walking on the street listening to a song. It can take you to places unseen and can introduce you to the people you would otherwise never meet. Never stop imagining, it makes things beautiful and possible. Like the road less traveled which could lead to something beautiful.

20150308_141516