What ifs?

We are always focusing on the unattainable in our lives. If you had that job you would be so happy, if you had that guy you would be so happy, if only you lived in a better place, had more room, more shoes, more…..If only we had everything that we wanted, we would be so happy is a central theme that runs through most of our lives. It is the emotion that drives us to do better, that emotion that sometimes drives us nuts, the feeling which either gives us success or drives us to the bottle and meds!

I am no stranger to the, “If I had _____, I would be happy” club. We build our dreams around what we want, and when things don’t go our way, we lose control. But humans are so fickle, we want one thing and then when we get it, we crib and complain about it and then we want something else. Sometimes it is better to let go of some of those dreams, because not everything that we want is good for us. Sometimes perversely we want something precisely because it is unattainable, and that is no good reason to want something or someone in your life. Maybe it is better to slowly let go of that possible dream job, the dream house so that you can count your blessings, and so that you can make way to build new dreams. We need to be reminded of our achievements and blessings so that we stop being so hard on ourselves. Maybe instead of searching for that elusive dream and that “would have beens” we should start living with what we have, maybe we will find new ways to enjoy our blessings!