We have all heard phrases like, “She’s a strong woman! She can bear it.” or “She can do it.” What makes someone strong? I have always despised being weak. Even when I don’t know what weakness is, I dislike anyone thinking of me as fragile, needing help or dependent! When I started earning and living on my own, my independence made me dislike weakness even more. But that was a few years ago, today I am older and hopefully wiser, and I ask myself the question, does being independent mean you are strong, and does the opposite mean you are weak?
My mother has always been a homemaker, and yes I would say she depends on my dad-and for me, she’s the strongest person I have know. So what defines strength? Does being strong means you hold on to your relationship, your family, your career with everything you have, or does it mean that you have the courage to let go of what needs to go, doesn’t matter how it kills you? Does strength mean holding on to your dreams and happiness or is it too weak to think that you cannot make new dreams and new happiness? Does it make you weak when your happiness depends on others; your family, your significant other, your career, or does it make you strong when you stand all alone against the world?
I don’t know the answers and sometimes these questions scare me. Should I rely on someone to make me happy? Should I let go of someone or should I hold on to that person? Am I being weak or am I being strong? If I am weak yet happy, does it matter? If I am strong yet sad, who is there to console me? Does it matter what I am? I am my biggest judge and critic, if I cannot look at myself in the mirror then my weakness or strength is pointless. But it is so difficult to make yourself happy, probably sometimes you just have to accept what you are, and does accepting yourself make you stronger? I probably will never know!