If you are a woman in your 30’s, single and an Indian, I bet you are being hounded; yes hounded is the right word! Everywhere you go, if there are Indians around you, chances are they are going to be insanely curious about your marital status. And then if you attend an Indian social function or you make the mistake of meeting a bunch of older Indian relatives, you are crucified! I am not exaggerating, it does feel like crucifixion when a bunch of married older Indian women start giving you a lecture on the importance of marriage. Then they proceed to tell you how compromises are important in married life, and that it is important that you should get married to the next guy you see, more importantly they want to tell you why you should consider yourself lucky if you even manage to find a guy at this ripe old age of 30!
In India or abroad, Indians don’t change much where marriage and related topics are concerned. Here are some of the top reasons why a girl who is now 30 should get married ASAP!
1) Top reason: YOU ARE GETTING OLD: Yes because, age is inversely proportional to your market value. The older you get, the lesser your market value. Simple Economics you see!
2) It’s best for everyone, if things happen at the right time: Because as long as the time is right who cares if the guy is right for you or not!
3) Men your age now want to get married to younger girls, so your pool of selection is decreasing drastically!
4) When will you make babies: everyone around you (friends, younger cousins, 4th cousins twice removed….) is getting married and having kids. Of course your main concern should be your ticking biological clock and making babies, doesn’t matter if you want them or not!
5) Being a married woman makes your life easier. Because people will stop looking pitifully at you, wondering if something is wrong with you.
I am sure most of you girls have heard some or the other versions of these reasons. These reasons are of course delivered in a very condescending tone by ‘well-meaning’ relatives and friends. Usually their tone implies that everyone means well for you other than you yourself of course! I am lucky since I am in the US, all this well meant torture gets toned down, but on the other hand when I go to India, everyone is out to make up for the lost time; which means, lots of torture in a small amount of time. It makes your head explode and makes you wish you could run far far away!
While my parents are very understanding and amazing, they still have to live in an Indian society and within its constraints. So usually there is always a relative who is ready to comment on their daughter’s singledom. Because of course, how can I be complete without a man by my side? It doesn’t matter that I do everything on my own right now from cooking to managing my own finances, but how can I be a complete woman without having an able bodied male by my side?
I am not against marriages and compromises. I am just against getting married because the society tells me that it is way past my time to do so! I am against having a label of married just so that I can please the hypocritical members of my Indian society.